To Gerry;
I know you are visiting my blog often, without leaving a tag. This time I'm dedicating those post specially for you, at the same time, self-reflecting. Hope that you will accept my suggestions for you. I really hope that you can read through this post, not plainly skimming it through. I've already kinda summarised it to make life better for you.
Am not going to dictate this post in perfect English, have to pen those thoughts down fast in case they vanish again.
To be frank, I don't hate you. The things that I am quite unpleased at times are, the strong sense of competition in you and your Huanlo-ness. Okay, I might be 'accusing' you of things that you did not do. The strong sense of competition I meant was, you wanted to compete with RenSiang and I in whatever we did. I used RenSiang as an example because the three of us are always together. Whether you emerge the top between the three of us, its does not matter. I always try to persuade myself not to think too much, just telling myself that your competiting nature serves as a motivation for me to work harder. But i always failed when the external factors strikes in. Sms me if you wanna know the external factors, not very convenient to state them here.
Another thing is the huanlo-ness of you. Truthfully, whenever I was unpleased or have something to share, I would spam a whole chunk of text at your sms or your msn window. The 'old' you would read through and give comments. Im not in position to comment about your typing style. Nowadays when I asked you a lot of questions whether in Msn or Sms,the replies you give are irrelevant. A similiar case would be like- That time you asked me if I wanted to play basketball, I suggested several days and asked if Saturday was possible. I kept asking that throughout the 3-4 Smses that I replied. You still did not give a reply, finally when you called then you gave me a somewhat-brief reason. I don't mind if you cannot share your activities on that day. In real life situations, it would be- I asked your questions or shared something to you and your face still remains staring blankly in the thin air and never giving a reply. I felt awkward at those times, unsure whether you heard my words or you simply did not bother to reply. As humans might turn pessimistic at times, I chose to think that you did not care a wink about what I said. That would lead me to thinking ,'Why should I care so much then?'. Remember those time at louis' house during flag day, you were so 'dao-ish' initially, maybe you were too engrossed with the computer ,I don't know. But as we starting playing and 'taopok'ing, you suddenly became the 'old' Gerry again. I missed those times, the active and prankful Gerry. Perhaps you have grown more matured and less talkative, but no one can control that.
Well, I guess that sums up most of my 'dislikes' about you. I don't need you to reflect on yourself or what, I don't need you to change for me, or anyone else. Being yourself is the best, I really hope that the 'bad side' of you that I see, isn't the real you.
It's so nice letting everything go. Bottling them up sucks, seriously. As I promised that we are supposed to start afresh(good friends), so why not tell me the pros and cons of the 'current' me and lets change for the better. I find that more fruitful that the both of us trying to 'endure' and backstabbing each other. All the best to our relationship!
Friday, March 20, 2009 ; 12:45 PM