Hello Everybody! It has been some time since I last blogged. I guess most of you might have learnt about the news about the misunderstanding between Gerry and me. After some reflections and advices given by my friends, I began to become more aware of the negative consequences of my actions. I always had the thoughts that Gerry could also find other friends and have fun instead of playing with me all the time.
I was wrong, we were the best of friends and it is inevitable that we would think of one another when planning for an outing.
I guess I had realised my mistake. I have been taking you all, my friends, for granted. I rejected your outing requests simply, too simply, just because I have other needs to attend to. I did not consider the fact that you might have only asked me out, and now you are left alone, walking down the lonely streets. I have my own life too, so I couldn’t be possibly spending all my time solely with someone. I would try to manage it properly, trying to make the best out of two worlds. (Thanks Biscuit for enlightening me on this.)
I thought Gerry was angry with me, because of the one vulgar I used on him-“fuck you la”. I slowly browsed his posts and saw him raking the past. The first impression I had was, he wanted to brood over the past and find fault with me for him to vent anger. We had a minor trifle in SMSes too. I read through his blog post and SMSes several times to find the true meaning of it and what his state of mind was. I guessed he must be trying to tell me;
“Kaho, you have not been a considerate friend and we had suffered a lot and endured just to continue this friendship that we had for last 4years.Yet you are simply taking our sufferings as a piece of cake. You must try to be more aware of the happenings around us, even when we did not clearly state it in front of you.Try to be more sensitive and we can be your brothers back.If we did not care about you, we would not bother to be angry with you when you neglected us.”
I came to realise that it was quite true. I wanted things to suit me and thus, planned things to my advantages and ignored if the others could go with it smoothly. I guess he was already a good friend by not blowing matters up and bottling it up.
Recently he was set aback by some problems which I prefer to keep it confidential. He must be depressed and stress upon this piece of news. Yet, a good friend of him could not help him overcome this ordeal and even quarrelled with him. I was utterly angered by his actions but I had forgiven him upon his apology.
It’s not a bad idea to self-reflect sometimes. I guess I have something to tell all my friends and close ones.
I’m sincerely apologetic for my tactless actions which might have angered you or made you disappointed in me. Some of you scolded me to wake me up, some advised. I really appreciated it. So, let’s bury the hatchet and start all afresh again?
Sorry baby this post is about my friend. I will not neglect you too. I will manage my time and accompany you too.
Saturday, April 4, 2009 ; 2:45 PM